The Plan has remained unchanged for quite a long time: Major in French and Spanish, get certified to teach K-12. I get to study things I love and have a pretty damn decent degree of job security at the end. And an extra special thank you to Wisconsin for having the most stringent requirements for a teaching credential so that it can be transferred to anywhere.
Well, now I’m in the second of my three terms freshman year, and I have yet to take a Spanish class. I went to two days each of two separate Spanish classes, and I was less than thrilled with them, so in their place, I ended up taking…art history. And I really, really love it. Um…crap. I don’t have space for that in the Plan. According to the Plan, I already have a double major and a minor; I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to have a double major and a double minor. And I’d almost definitely not be able to fit in all of that, plus distribution requirements, on top of a year abroad.
Maybe if I were motivated enough I could do it, if I overloaded every single term. But I know I wouldn’t be able to keep my GPA up (especially with the hours of practicum required for education courses), and then my scholarship would go away, and I’d pretty much consider myself a failure for the rest of my life. So something would have to go, and that would be Spanish.
I feel like such a traitor even considering not majoring in Spanish. Every once in a while, I’m reminded of what an amazing language it is and what an amazing culture it has, and I desperately want to be a part of it, as much as I can. And if I stop now, what would the past eight years of my life have been for? More than that, though, it’s that I’ve always been so afraid of disappointing people. How do I tell my advisor (who just happens to be a Spanish professor), my parents, and all my amazing high school Spanish teachers that I just stopped taking Spanish?
I’m also semi-anxious of what would happen if I didn’t follow the Plan. I’d be cutting my potential job opportunities in half by only having one language, if not damaging my prospects even more than that. More schools offer Spanish than French, and middle and elementary schools, if they offer foreign language at all, usually place more of an emphasis on Spanish.
I’m not sure when or why exactly I decided that I wanted to learn French, but I know I was very young. And I know that just a few months after I started taking French, I realized that I had a strong preference for it. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I stopped taking French; I’m not even looking forward to having to go a term without taking a French class. I’ve been pretty much immersed in French since I started taking it: the summer after freshman year, I went to France. The summer after sophomore year, I self-studied and skipped ahead a year. I liked French more than Spanish, so I was more inclined to seek out French things.
Art history makes me happy. Especially French art. It just fits. So I want to make it work. I want to major in French and minor in education and art history. I might even be able to take art history courses in France my junior year (and the whole studying abroad thing would be a lot easier with only one country). But once again, how do I break this news to everyone who has an interest in my education? My mom was an art history major in college until she switched to psychology, and then when she was in her forties she went back to college to become a biology teacher. So she probably just thinks art history is a fluff subject now, and admittedly, it kind of is (because just how many jobs are there in art museums anyway?). And my dad would definitely not consider it a Real Subject. (Kind of ironically, my dad’s dream was once to be a French teacher, too, but he abandoned it in order to major in economics in the interest of practicality. So I guess maybe I’m already the “failure daughter,” as far as he’s concerned. I also came to college in Wisconsin. Maybe I should be surprised we’re even on speaking terms. But I digress.)
So, in essence…there was once a Plan. I want to change the Plan, but I’m afraid of leaving something behind and even more afraid of what people will think.
…I wish I had the time to do everything I want to do in my life, but sadly, that’s never been the case.
Hey, at least you figured this out in the beginning of college as opposed to later on, where it would really get complicated. For now, I think you have enough leeway to switch paths pretty significantly. So the important question is: what do you think will stick? You have to make sure that whatever you’re studying will be a lasting passion, because it’s what you’ll be doing for a large part of your adult life. Best thing to do is to sit down for maybe an hour, with no interruptions, and just sort of weigh it out. When you’ve made your decision, the convincing of others will really take care of itself, the important part is being sure of what you want.